New Year, New Mindset

I'm coming to the realization that I'm a grown up. This is disturbing, and it makes me what to crawl into a hole and pretend it's not happening. The fact is, it is happening. I have a husband, a dog, a mortgage, a car payment - shit is getting real. As much as I'd like to just act like a selfish princess, I need to start thinking about myself as part of a family unit. My husband and I need to make sure our decisions are based on what's best for us.

The reality of our current situation is very good. We are both employed, and we never go without - I need to keep this in mind when I start to complain about how crappy things are.

I make new year's resolutions every year, and I don't think I've ever stuck to one. Well, that's a lie - when I was 24, my resolution was to have more fun - I'm pretty sure I rocked that one until December 31st! Other than that, I usually fail. This year, instead of trying to lose weight or quit smoking for good, I want to change my way of thinking about things.

First off, I want to stop taking the stress of work home with me. When I'm home, I can't do work, so I just need to stop worrying about it. Work stress makes me quiet, drink more wine than I need to, and ignore my loving husband and loyal doggie - it's no good. To get work off my brain, I'm going to work-out when I get home. For goodness sakes, we're lucky enough to have an exercise room, I might as well use the darn thing! This will help my health, hopefully knock off a few pounds, and improve my stress levels.

The second part of my resolution goes in-hand with the first - I want to start listening more. I find myself getting so preoccupied with work-thoughts that I miss out on things. My husband will often be talking to me, and I will honestly have no idea what he's saying. It's just not right. He needs to be number one in my life, yet work is always making its way into my brain! This needs to end now - it's just not healthy to keep on in the direction I'm heading.

So far I've gotten this year off to a good start. I don't think I've talked about work much, and my husband and I have been working together as a team all day! We started by taking down all of our Christmas decorations, then going grocery shopping, which was followed up by a day of cooking. I saw that King Arthur Flour was promoting a bread recipe contest, so I got the idea that we should work on perfecting a recipe together. It was a lot of fun working out the minute details - we probably still have a few more bread making sessions until we can call our recipe "final." Since so many of our recipes are in our heads, it's hard to actually create the recipe. I'm looking forward to working with him more on it.

We also made the most amazing dinner - Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Brown Butter Sauce. Seriously, It has to be the most amazing dinner we've ever made. There's nothing like homemade pasta to get the year off to a good start.

Here's to 2011, and actually keeping my new year's resolution to keep work at work where it belongs!

Now onto keeping up with the second part of my resolution. My hubby is downstairs playing Donkey Kong by himself right now, and I need to get down there! Look out jungle - we're gonna reclaim our banana hoard as a team!

Christmas To-Do List - 17 days left

Husband's Darth Vader Snowflake

Our Christmas "To Do" List:

• Decorate
• Make Ornaments
• Send Cards
• Buy Gifts
• Bake Cookies
• Make Fudge
• Assemble Cookie Boxes
• Wrap Presents
• Figure Out Christmas Outfits
• Pack

Since my last post, I've totally made progress! The cookies are done, I only have three more gifts to purchase, and we're going shopping for Christmas outfits this weekend.

I completed the shortbread last night, which was the last of my baking. It's my great grandmother's recipe, and it's always amazing. I was lucky enough to inherit my Gram's shortbread cookie cutter, and I enjoy thinking about her as I make my shortbread each year.

As I write this, my husband is making truffles. I signed up to be the truffle-taster. Since I'm the only other person in the house, I think I stand a good chance at getting the job.

My husband also expressed interest in making tamales this weekend. We made them two years ago, and they came out terrific. Last year, due to some unexpected family emergencies, we weren't able to make them or do any baking. This year, however, we're giving our kitchen a run for its money. I thought about adding the tamales to my list, but since it's a "bonus" and not part of the main plan, I won't feel bad if I don't complete it.

I'm really excited at our progress, and we have 17 more days to get the rest done. Hopefully by this time next week I'll have most all of the list crossed out!

Christmas To-Dos

This weekend my husband and I started our Christmas "to do" list. It feels really good to get going on this stuff so we don't have a last-minute scramble the week of Christmas. Since we have to travel to see our family, it's just easier to get everything in order early.

Our Christmas "To Do" List:

• Decorate
• Make Ornaments*
• Send Cards
• Buy Gifts**
• Bake Cookies***
• Make Fudge****
• Assemble Cookie Boxes*****
• Wrap Presents
• Figure Out Christmas Outfits
• Pack

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* Every year my husband and I go to the craft store and pick out some goofy ornament kits. Sometimes we paint pieces of wood to look like gingerbread men or we glue goofy stuff to felt - this year we made reindeer! Pretty cute, huh? It's neat, our tree gets more ornaments on it every year, and it's always fun to look back at our goofy handmade ones and remember the time we spent together...sometimes cursing over the hot glue gun...but together all the same.

** I signed up for Amazon Prime and started buying gifts on Friday, and some have already arrived! I'm not one for shopping in general, let alone when things are crazy with Christmas chaos. My husband and I usually go for a few nice relaxing walks around town during Christmas - it's much more fun when you don't have a mission.

*** The cookies have been started! We got through sugar cookies, gingerbread men, and chocolate spritz pressed cookies. Some time this week I'll do my shortbread!

**** My husband makes amazing rocky road fudge, but it requires fancy expensive chocolate. This one will need to wait till we have a few more pennies. There's also a rumor that he'll be doing truffles as well!

*****I do cookie boxes for most of my friends and family as christmas presents. I find this to be both frugal and fun, besides, who doesn't love cookies and fudge?

Too Old For Sparkle Jeans...

In preparation for Thanksgiving, my husband and I went on a cleaning spree. I'm not talking the usual "cleaning," but more of a "purge." We started with the pantry, it led to the spice cabinet, which went on and on, finally ending up at our closets.

You know when you clean out your closet, there are things you save -  things you'll probably never wear again? They usually fall into one of these categories:

• Too small, but they will fit once I lose this weight!
• Goofy style, but I paid a lot for it...
• Sentimental: wedding dress, prom dress, favorite band t-shirt from high school, etc.

My sparkle jeans fell into the "Goofy style, but I paid a lot for it" category. I still remember the day I bought those jeans. It was when I was living in Los Angeles during a month-long film production class. I was so frugal, but some of the girls in my class convinced me to go shopping with them. We went to some schmancy boutiques in Santa Monica. Just for shits, I tried on these jeans. They were super cool, made my but look awesome, and cost $200! I'm more of an Old Navy/on-sale Levis kind of girl - spending more than $30 on jeans is dumb. So of course I bought them.

As I pulled those jeans out of my closet, loads of memories rushed forth. I wore them to clubs, dancing, house parties - hell I even rocked them during a Tango lesson in Argentina! Mind you, I was in my early 20s when these jeans saw those rad events.

Looking at them now, I just see a silly pair of jeans. If I wore them out, I would look goofy. People would think, "What is she doing in those?" "The year 2000 called, it wants it jeans back." Even if I did decide to go dancing with my friends, I would probably dress in something that flattered my body and that I felt comfortable in. Back in the day, comfort was the last thing I cared about when going out.

Alas, I'm too old for sparkle jeans, so I'm going to donate them with the rest of the treasures I found in my closet this weekend. I hope some silly college girl or teenager finds them and loves them as much as I did!

Knockin' Down Fears, One at a Time...

For those of you that don't know me, and maybe for those of you that do, I'm one of the biggest fraidy-cats out there. As a child I didn't like to be left alone, I would have panic attacks before family functions (obviously didn't want to be with people either), and the slight thought of doing something new would send me into a tizzy.

As I grew up, this didn't change a whole lot, but I just got better at hiding it. My mom would usually take me shopping with her on Saturdays - we would go to the mall, and it was just a terrible thing. It's not just that I didn't like shopping - which I'm still not too fond of - but it was all those damn people. What if one of them had a gun? What if one tries to kidnap me? What if we get in a car accident on our way home from that god-awful place? Once we got home, I was so overwhelmed with the worries of the day that I usually had to take a nap. I would feel physically exhausted from the experience. As I got older and began to drive, I found that the mall was a much better place to be than say...school, for instance. I found myself going to said "god awful place" as an alternative to the hell of high school.

Another example of this anxious madness was move theatres. The thought of a dark theatre full of strangers almost made me sick. When I'd find out that I'd be going to the movies, I would worry about it and have bad dreams up until the day when I finally had to go. It usually wasn't so bad, but it didn't stop me from freaking out the next time I had to go. Then in high school, I started going out with boys, and had to pretend that it was fun. It was in high school that I met my now husband, and he worked in a move theatre of all places! I soon found myself looking forward to going to that once frightening place and actually having a good time.

Probably the thing in this world that I was most frightened to do, and never thought I would ever do it is air travel. From a very young age, the idea of airplanes scared the shit out of me. In high school I had a chance to go to London with my cousin's class on a really rad field trip, and I had to turn it down. I wanted to go to London, but I would cry and cry at the thought of riding on an airplane. When I was 18, my folks took the family to D.C. for one of the biggest vacations of our lives...guess who didn't go? Yep, they went without me. I just couldn't get myself to do it. It was even a joint-trip with my best friend's family, and I still couldn't go! This fear was finally conquered in 2004 when my boyfriend - now husband - went to the Oakland A's Spring Training in Tempe, Arizona. The flight was only an hour long, and I had enough Xanax and cocktails to dope a horse. It was scary, sure, but my husband held my hand and distracted me with silly videos and games on his computer. The coolest part was when we discovered that Alyssa Milano was sitting in front of us. I shit you not, she was going to Spring Training just like us! We talked to her for a while and she was the coolest chick. On that trip, I also got to see Barry Zito - not bad for a fear-conquering journy, eh?

I bonus-conquered that fear when in 2006 I went to Argentina and Chile with my immediate and extended family. Xanax helped, as did being surrounded by my understanding loved ones. Since then, I started working for a new company that required business travel 5-10 times per year. I didn't want to come off as a total pussy so I told them I was cool with that. Turns out I had to be, and now I travel by air quite a bit. I don't even need meds now! How about that? I still don't love airplanes, but it's much easier to deal with.

The most recent fear I conquered was public speaking. My aunt's long-time partner passed away, and her funeral was on Friday. The minister called someone up who had told her that they wanted to speak, and after he spoke, she asked if anyone else had anything to say. I thought about talking, but then decided against it as I could barely hear myself think through my heart beating in my eardrums. Then a lady got up and spoke some lovely words, and I thought, "Okay, once she's done, I'm going up..." Then the lady's husband immediately got up and started speaking, I thought, "Oh damn...I'm losing my nerve!" As soon as he sat down, I found myself walking up to the podium. It was like an out of body experience, and before I new it, I was talking. I can't remember exactly what I said, where I was looking, or what I was doing with my hands, but then I was back in my seat. I'm still in shock over the whole thing, but I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

I find that I may be a fraidy-cat, but I don't let it stop me from enjoying life and living without regrets. I just put on my game-face, and pretend that what I'm doing is normal and fine with me, then before I know it, I've conquered a fear. I used to be too scared to talk to people in stores, and just last year I haggled like $4,000 off of our new car like a freakin' pro. Everytime I do something like this, I can only explain it as an "out of body experience." It's like my loser-self gives up to a strong persona, and I just go along for the ride.

Do you have any fears that you've conquered recently or in the past? How did you feel when you made the leap to face the fear? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Recipe for Success

Yesterday for Halloween my office team dressed up as the cast of Mad Men. Not only did we look totally badass, but we also won first prize in our company costume contest! All in all, it was a pretty cool day. We got to spend time in the bathroom teasing and spraying our hair, wearing false eye-lashes, and putting on WAY too much lipstick. We also went out for martinis at a fancy golf course after work with our $100 prize!

Living in today's world, us lady-folk are so lucky to be able to wear whatever we want. Normally, I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl at work. Dressing up only in black slacks/skirt and a blouse when I'm feeling fancy. Working in Southern California allows you the total surfer, laid-back style. I have to say that I did feel really good about myself dressed up like that. The clothes were flattering to my figure, my makeup really made my good features stand out, and the heels did great things for my legs. Oh, and the hair was kinda rad.

Now the down-side. By the end of the day, I was so uncomfortable! Wearing a panty-girdle all day is just wrong! My ankles almost broke like ten times when I missed a step wearing those shoes. A girl brought her dog in to visit, and I had to be extra careful when I attacked it with luvs as I was wearing a skirt. Oh, and my hair...oh god...I didn't get that next untangled until this morning!

Any women who lived through the 50s and 60s - please let me know how you did it! Do men know how hard it is to keep that look up? 

I still go back to the fact that I felt really pretty, so maybe dressing up once in a while is a good thing. Like everything in life, it's probably only okay in moderation. I've often heard the line, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." There might be some truth in that - I feel that I was taken a tad more seriously yesterday than when I wear a "Miller High-Life" t-shirt to work. Maybe the "recipe for success" does have a thing or two to do with wardrobe choice. Our CEO came by our department yesterday joked that maybe instead of "Casual Friday" we have "Casual Everyday" and a "Dress-Up Friday." I think I could handle that.

Did Somebody Say "Beerfest?"

This weekend was very special, because Sunday was the Santa Barbara Beer Festival! We've been looking forward to this year's beer fest since we left the festival last year. We had so much fun this year! We tried a bunch of beer, ate giant brats, got temporary tattoos, AND learned a few things about beer. Did I mention that we all had matching t-shirts? Oh yeah - it was pretty badass. My girlfriend made up shirts for us that had a little turtle carrying a mug of beer on his shell. It said, "Slow and Steady Wins the Race." We called ourselves "Team Drink," and got mad props all over the place. We will definitely have to do shirts again for next year. Now, enough silliness, let's talk beer.

I found that the festival this year was very IPA heavy - it's like the "it" beer. I understand that beer folk done love that beer, but dang - it's just so hoppy and strong! I tried a number of these gnarly beers, but didn't dig too many. Even though I know that I'm not a fan of these beers, I find myself trying them anyway. I went so far as to try Greenflash's "Hop Head Red Ale" - for God's sake, it's called "Hop Head!" Surprise, surprise, it was extremely hoppy, but my husband and his friends really loved it. So if you dig this sort of thing - check out the pic and go scout it out!

The girl pouring at Greenflash told me that she's not a huge fan of that beer either and to try the Pauwel Kwak being poured next door. It was such a smooth brown ale! It came off a tad sweet, but I think that was because I was coming off of Mr. Hop Head. I'm going to try to find this bad-boy again and try it with a clean pallet. Plus, it's a super pretty bottle.

I know I said "enough silliness," but I have to tell you about what a genius I am. One of the highlights for my friends that day was when I put on a temporary tattoo using stout instead of water (Firestone's award-winning Merlin). It seemed like a great idea until I realized how sticky the beer was. Luckily my friend had a water bottle to hose me down so I could enjoy the rest of my day without bees following me around.

All in all, it was a great day, and I broadened my horizons by trying beers that I wouldn't normally buy. Below I've listed out some of the various beers I tried.

Most Interesting:

• Orange Blossom Honey Hefeweizen - Union Ale
• Avocado Honey Ale (My Favorite) - Island Brewing
• Hemp Ale - Red Nectar

Stout-tastic:

• Velvet Merlin - Firestone Walker
• Brother Thelonious - North Coast Brewing

Hops a'poppin':

• Hop Head Red (Husband's Favorite) - Green Flash Brewing 
• Nut Brown - Green Flash Brewing
• Pinehopple IPA - Union Ale

There were many more, but my memory is failing me. Anyone have any thoughts on this IPA craze? Am I just not sophisticated enough to get it?

Faith in Humanity Restored!

I had a flight to Phoenix this afternoon, and airports almost always bum me out. The "me first" mentality and general grumpiness of airports blows. I tried to be cheerful and just role with everything in my dramamine induced mellowness, when the weird lady next to me at the gate started painting her freakin' toenails! Seriously, that's gross for many reasons, #1 being the stench of nail-polish and the sight of her icky feet. Maybe that's two things, but it just goes to show how uber gross it was. She asked the woman sitting on the other side of her if it was ok if she did it, but she didn't say jack-shit to me. Well, that was probably for the best considering how my interactions with weird strangers generally don't go well. Ok, so that said...it was really the only thing that totally annoyed me today. Now onto the pozzy aspect of my adventure...

I noticed an older woman in line ahead of me for boarding passes, and I was surprised that she was traveling alone. She was probably in her 80s, cute as hell, and doing her best to navigate her way through our airport...which if you've been to it, is about the size of a Taco Bell. For real. Anyway, this older woman got on the plane by herself, and ended up being seated in front of me. Seeing her reminded me of my Gram, who I miss terribly, so I decided to silently keep an eye on her. Just to make sure she didn't run into any issues along the way.

When the plane landed, and the cabin door opened, all these a-holes on the plane started rushing down the aisle, not having a single thought that maybe other people were on the plane and would like to get off too. I'm all about the idea that you de-plane in the order of the seats...up front gets off first, and you wait for the folks in front of you to get off, etc. I'm all about order and I hate the "I have a connection and I'm sure nobody else but me needs to get off this plane!" attitude. I got up and blocked the aisle in order to let the older woman and the people in her row time to exit.

Once we got off the plane we had to walk through the jetway, which was actually a covered ramp sloped upward to get us back into the terminal. I was having a bit of trouble walking on my wobbly legs as we exited, and I noticed the older woman in front of me was too. Well, out of nowhere this young man, I'd say 20 or so, passed by me. I thought he was rushing to get ahead of everyone like some sort of jerk, when he put his hand on the older woman's shoulder and asked if he could carry her bag. He carried her bag, held her hand, and slowly walked her up to the gate. He chatted with her and left her with her daughter who was waiting for her at the gate. Then he was off on his way. Like some sort of do-good Kayser Soze.

Seriously, I'm a bit of a coldy, but this was one of the most touching things I've seen in a really long time. Right when I thought the world was so full of douches, I see such a lovely act of kindness. Whoever you are kid, way to go!

Forever awkward...

So this morning I had a doctor appointment, no big whoop. After I checked in at the registration desk, I walked over to the elevator and got in. Right as the doors were closing a man in his late-60s/early-70s jumped in at the last minute. No biggie, that sort of thing happens all the time with elevators.

Right as we were about to get out of the elevator, he looked back at me (as he was in front of me), then jumped out, and took off for the sign-in desk for the doctor. I was like, "ok, well, he must be in a hurry cuz he's old." I didn't think much of it as I live in a community where there are often rude "me first" types, so sadly, I'm used to it.

Mr. Speedy then walked straight up to the first window at the sign-in desk, as I slowly made my way to the second one. The sign-in took all of 5 seconds, and in no time, I was sitting in the waiting room happily reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Out of nowhere, as Mr. Speedy sat down in the waiting room across from me, he started up a conversation. At first I thought he was just going to complain about kids these days, elevators not having bright enough buttons, or the way men don't wear hats to ball games, but noooo...he says, "Sorry if I was rude by running in ahead of you out of the elevator." I was shocked, it's so rare to get an apology for bad things let alone trivial annoyances. I told him that it was no biggie and that I was early for my appointment and in no rush. He then said, "Well, the reason is that I came in this morning and held the door in the lobby open for a lady. She then got in line ahead of me, got into the waiting room first, and got my appointment! The nurse said that I was a minute late so they gave my appointment to the lady I held the door for. Can you believe that?"

Before I could say much of anything, he said "So they wouldn't get me in to see my doctor today. You know what I did? I switched doctors! I'm not waiting weeks to see the doctor when I've had this appointment for months!" If you know me, you know that I'm not very outgoing when it comes to speaking to total strangers. In many respects, I'm still the shy kid hiding behind my mom's leg at church. But this time was going to be different, this time I was going to say something fun and witty, and make a friend out of an unlikely stranger! So I said, "That's what you get for displaying a random act of kindness!" He just gave me this troubled look and started reading his magazine. Conversation over.

Shortly thereafter, I was called in to see the doctor. I will be forever awkward...

A Backyard Vacation

Sweet - take a dump and have an ice cream cone at the same time!

My company gave us yesterday off of work, which is totally cool because a.) it makes a four-day weekend, and b.) not working kicks-ass. It has been so long since I’ve had a day all to myself, I wasn’t sure what to do. After feeding and walking Lama, I curled up with a book for about 2 hours. It was pushing 10:00, and the day quickly went from “foggy and cold: stay home and booze” to, “sunny and lovely: go out and booze.” I decided to make myself look presentable and face the beautiful day. But where to go? I thought, “Hell, I live in a tourist town, might as well give that a whirl.” Talk about a cheap vacation.

First Stop: The Mission

I’ve been to the mission many times, mostly to show out-of-towners, but it was kind of cool seeing it with new eyes on my own. I ended up spending a good deal of time in the rose garden – I never really noticed how many different types of roses there are out there. Reminded me of my Gram. I was pretty quickly pulled from my zen when every time I tried to take a picture, a tourist got in my way. Maybe if I was taking a picture of a kid giving the peace-sign in front of the big wooden cross they would have shown some respect. It was time for me to move on.

A lovely place to be sued.

Second Stop: The Courthouse

Now, I know what you’re thinking…a courthouse? WTF? But here’s the deal, the Santa Barbara Courthouse is actually pretty darn nice looking. I’ve seen it a number of times from the outside–in the summer there are weddings there almost every day. In fact, one was about to start while I was there yesterday. Since I had nothing but time, I figured I’d actually venture in. If you like tile and a whole lot of Spanish-flare, this is the place to be. You can also wonder around the entire place, and nobody stops you. Well, I didn’t open closed doors, so don’t totally take my word for it. All in all, I was impressed, and if I’m ever involved in a legal matter, it will be a pleasure to attend this wonderful establishment.

Third Stop: El Presidio

The Presidio is only a few blocks from the courthouse, and it’s…well…a presidio. I didn’t take the tour since I think you have to pay or make donations, and I wasn’t up for that. I did notice that they had a ton of drying bricks out front, and it made me think of that scene in PeeWee’s Big Adventure, where they are at the Alamo, and the tour guide says, “Can you say A-Doe-Bee?” I wonder if there’s a basement in the Presidio?

 Last Stop: The Beach

As I was getting back in my car, my phone rang. A girlfriend of mine had just gotten her hair done and wanted to hang out. I suggested going to the beach for beer and food and beer. We met at this really chill café, sat outside, drank beer, and watched the fog roll back in over the ocean. There was one point where two seagulls totally got into a fight, and one was trying to swallow the other’s head to get the food from his throat. It was one of the most awesome/disturbing things I’ve ever seen. I was too slow on the camera for that, so alas, no picture. I’m going to have my husband sketch it out according to my description, because it’s just too good to miss out on. Stay tuned...

What I learned from my backyard vacation:

1.)   Tourists season sucks. I’m glad they pour money into this town, but they cramp my style. Seriously, just because you’re in a beach town doesn’t mean it’s ok to wear a bathing suit in public like clothing.

2.)   When I'm farting around by myself, people treat me as though I'm invisible. Can be both bad and good.

3.)   I live in a beautiful city, and should probably take more notice of it once in a while.

4.)   I will NEVER try to take food from a seagull.

Where is Bill?

I just got back from spending the weekend at my in-law’s house up in the Bay Area. When we arrived on Friday night, we were happily greeted by my mother and father-in-law. Lama was in heaven; he’s totally in love with my father-in-law, Bill. Bill plays with Lama, talks to him about the stock market, and even uses his fancy massage-therapy skills on him while they watch Mad Money together.

Saturday was an interesting day–Bill left for his 50th year high school reunion at around 9:00 in the morning, and he wouldn’t be back until the following day. My husband and his mother left for a family birthday party around 9:30 a.m., and then I left for a friend’s bridal shower at about 11:30 a.m. By the time I left, I could tell that Lama was uneasy about everyone leaving. I felt bad, but what can you do? Isn’t it true that dogs have no sense of time? Well, that’s what I was hoping…

I got home around 5:00 in the evening, and Lama was so happy to see me! He jumped all over me, and then we went for a nice walk. Around 6:00 p.m. my husband and his mom came home–Lama was even more excited that the family unit was coming back together! After a while, he didn’t seem so excited, and he just sat by the front window. We could all see it on his face, he was wondering, “Where is Bill?”

I tried to explain to him that Bill went to a party that was far away, so he was spending the night, but Lama didn’t seem to understand. After he got tired of waiting by the front of the house, he headed into Bill’s office where they usually check their stocks together. He slept in there for a bit before making the rounds back to the front of the house just to make sure he didn’t miss Bill’s arrival.

This morning we had to leave early, and Bill hadn’t yet returned home. Even now that we’re back home Lama continues to seem out of sorts. I wonder how long this is going to go on. My mother in-law suggested we tape a picture of Bill to the inside of Lama’s house to ease the longing. I may do that.

Shifty Eyes

My dog, (Dalai) Lama, has been acting really strange lately. I swear he's up to something. I often find him sleeping under my desk. I wonder if he's goofing around online. I don't see anything strange in my browser's history, but I know he's messing about. He has shifty eyes. When I ask him what he's been up to, he usually just starts licking himself. I've got my eye on him.